Skip to content
Swizec Teller - a geek with a hatswizec.com

Duke Nukem Forever is never

  • Duke Nukem (character)

    Image via Wikipedia

Once upon a time there was a magnificent first person shooter - Duke Nukem. Many of us were a little bit young when this game was popular and were only involved with it as some sort of retro gamers and ... what was I saying? Someone just shouted balls of steel in my head. Stupid bastard.

Anyhow, to be honest I don't exactly know jus twhat it was about Duke Nukem that made him such an epitome of ultimate coolness in gaming. Maybe it was that in one of the versions you could kick with your foot. And the other foot. And both feet at the same time ... hilarity ensued. Oh and there were aliens! Aliens that went splat and killed you because let's face it, you're not Duke Nukem, you're just pretending to be him, but will never be as cool as he was, even as cool as he was when he became nothing more than vaporware!

The first time Duke Nukem Forever - greatest game the world has ever seen, was announced it was still the year 1997 and I was around 10 years old. Of course at that time I'd never even heard of Duke Nukem because I only came in contact with him, in a completely platonic way of course, around the age of 14. So yes, when I started playing the greatest and the baddest was already a few years "old" and I played something oooold.

This old thing was extremely awesome even then. And that's saying something, how many old games do you know that several years after their release still captivate a fresh audience already used to the improvements made since? None? Thought so. It is because of this unadulterated level of awesome that we kept waiting and waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.

But alas, today news broke that Duke Nukem Forever is in effect Duke Nukem For Never (title blatantly stolen from slashdot). Of course there are very few idiots left out there who were still actually waiting for this thing to be done. But I happened to be one of them, deep down somewhere, I hoped some day, some moon in t he future, some happy morning, I would get to play DNF. It is not to be, because 3D Realms is shutting down and with its demise all hope for a new Duke Nukem goes down the drain with them even though there were valid rumours last year of a playable demo finally having been produced.

Duke Nukem where aaaareeee youuuuuu?

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Did you enjoy this article?

Published on May 7th, 2009 in Duke Nukem Forever, food for thought, funny, Uncategorized, Video game

Learned something new?
Want to become a high value JavaScript expert?

Here's how it works 👇

Leave your email and I'll send you an Interactive Modern JavaScript Cheatsheet 📖right away. After that you'll get thoughtfully written emails every week about React, JavaScript, and your career. Lessons learned over my 20 years in the industry working with companies ranging from tiny startups to Fortune5 behemoths.

Start with an interactive cheatsheet 📖

Then get thoughtful letters 💌 on mindsets, tactics, and technical skills for your career.

"Man, love your simple writing! Yours is the only email I open from marketers and only blog that I give a fuck to read & scroll till the end. And wow always take away lessons with me. Inspiring! And very relatable. 👌"

~ Ashish Kumar

Join over 10,000 engineers just like you already improving their careers with my letters, workshops, courses, and talks. ✌️

Have a burning question that you think I can answer? I don't have all of the answers, but I have some! Hit me up on twitter or book a 30min ama for in-depth help.

Ready to Stop copy pasting D3 examples and create data visualizations of your own?  Learn how to build scalable dataviz components your whole team can understand with React for Data Visualization

Curious about Serverless and the modern backend? Check out Serverless Handbook, modern backend for the frontend engineer.

Ready to learn how it all fits together and build a modern webapp from scratch? Learn how to launch a webapp and make your first 💰 on the side with ServerlessReact.Dev

Want to brush up on your modern JavaScript syntax? Check out my interactive cheatsheet: es6cheatsheet.com

By the way, just in case no one has told you it yet today: I love and appreciate you for who you are ❤️