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    Plans and scams

    Last night my girlfriend came home from the trip to Amsterdam, which ended up lasting exactly a week instead of almost two that she first thought she could pull off. Money conquers all I guess. But anyway, you might remember my bemoaning of her cheating on me over there a few days ago, well guess what ... it was all a prank!

    She didn't cheat on me at all, she just made me think she did and when I found out all I could feel was immensely proud of what she did. Yes, the girlfriend finally beat me in my own mind games, what's more, in a single swipe she got me back for every time I ever scared the shit out of her or made her think there was something amiss with our relationship.

    Hell, it brought a tear to my eye! You might be thinking right now that I'm a lunatic for being proud of my girlfriend for causing me several days of severe anguish, but I'm not a sore loser. In fact I cherish my losses because it means I had a worthy opponent, or even, if I dare say so, that my opponent has grown as a direct result of being my opponent. Now that's achievement! On top of it all, besides sex, what better fun can a couple have than fucking with eachother's minds? I sure can't think of anything ...

    However, all is not as crystal clear, my jealousy sensors did go off for numerous things that she said she did, like for example being drunk and stoned all night with a couple of guys ... yeah, totally unsuspicious, BUT, this morning I received final proof that nothing went wrong and she's still all mine. I'd tell you how to tell if your girlfriend has cheated on you, but it's a trade secret of an evil scheming bastard.

    While we're on the topic of scheming, my master scheme surrounding the trip worked out. The idea was to let her go even though I was thoroughly upset by her going without me and not even inviting me, to even encourage her to go because I want her to be happy even if it's without me and such bullshit, but at the same time mention just a few times, in a few passing remarks, a serious word here and there, how much it bothers me that she's going ... all with the evil plan of letting her realise on her own that she'd much much rather go on vacation with me.

    The scheme worked, she learned what I intended her to learn and professed never to go anywhere without me again ... never again of course means until we get kind of sick of each other in 20 years, but I can live with that.

    And people say women are complicated! HA!

    Did you enjoy this article?

    Published on August 19th, 2008 in food for thought, life

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